Nomance...it's a new term you may want to start using.

Call me what you will, but I don’t believe in romance. I do believe in reconnecting and reigniting but I do not believe in the oozy, goozy thing called romance.

 While in the airport in Atlanta, I had a brief conversation with a fella, who, after realizing I was a travel agent had told me that he wanted to go to San Francisco for his 15^th wedding anniversary. My friend, who is also a travel agent, pipes in and says, “How about Napa? It’s more romantic.” The man responded back with a roll of the eyes and heavy sigh that said, “ I don’t want any place really romantic. Really, after 15 years?” That got me thinking about romance and whether or not it really does exist and how do the expectations of “romantic” vacations play into it all.

Anyhoo, as I spoke with this guy, I suggested DOING something with his wife, have an experience instead of having the stress of creating a magical heart felt moment with his wife that 1.) would never measure up to what she conjured up as romantic, 2.) would drive him to the brinks of an emotional breakdown simply on the stress he’d put on himself trying to live up to someone else’s expectations. Plan your next vacation with your sugar pie in  a beautiful destination...use it as the back drop for adventure which creates sparks which create flames which create heat... catch my drift?

If you’ve put in a fair amount of time into your relationship, and I have, romance gets a more rugged makeover and tends to  look like an emptied dishwasher, help bringing the groceries in or voluntarily picking up dog poop. In terms of finding / creating romance on a vacation, romance has been renamed  “ just do !” Couples who have been together for a long time need to not stare at one another over a candle lit dinner and conjure up memories of how they used to look and feel about one another. They do , however, need to have that candle lit dinner and talk about their days adventures that they just had while on vacation. While doing and talking together, there’s a magic that evolves within us. TRYING to create romance is like trying to  get a cat to listen to you, it doesn’t happen, well, not successfully anyways. However, focusing on DOING things together as a couple you’ll soon come to find that there’s something new that has come  about within you, something that the French call, “ a joie de vive!” (joy of life) In your relationship.

So I am here to give you the freedom to allow yourself to not try and create romance on your next vacation. Throw that word out of the window on the way to the airport. Go where life moves you to go, go there with zest and go there without expectations. Let you and your lovely partner explore new  adventures together by DOING. You’ll have so much to talk about that you may just  fall in love all over again. . .